¿Qué cuento?

Me encuentro contigo
En el cuaderno otra vez,
Que ya juré que nunca más lo volviera hacer.
Pero...
Pero al nacer lo que siento
El viento me lleva a recoger el lapíz
Y escribir en hojas
En vez de volverme loca
Rompiendo la cabeza contra la pared.
Esta historia no tuvo un comienzo,
Ni tendrá fin.
Pero en fin aquí estamos.
Semi-lectores/ Medio-escritores del relato.
Atrapados en un atasco de sentimientos,
No sé si miento
Cuando te digo que no me importa
Nuestro estado: Nada.
Menos mal que sé nadar
Y me quedo, de momento, sin ahogarme,
Y sin hogar para mi corazón.
Que ya sabes que es un poco tonta,
La misma prueba pendiente.
Y esto no depende de ti.
Sino de mis inseguridades
Y cómo está la situación...
Me quedo con el cuento no contado
Y el cuaderno lleno de poemas
De lo que no pudo ser.

Minor Setback

I'm restraining myself from complaining
As I'm painting butterflies over thunderstorms
Normal people wouldn't have to do this.
More than half of them would be thrilled to just sit back and enjoy the ride.
And not have to hide behind weak smiles and facebook photos.
How funny is it that just like a rollercoaster,
As soon as you find the top of your utopia
You are ripped away
Wind pushing you back
Until you're back to the bottom
Knocked on your bottom
Working your way up to the top of your joy?
I know without the drops you are just plateauing,
But what if you plateau on perfect?
Without change there is no progress
But damn, if the process of progress can happen without having to regress
This mess of a life would be so much simpler.
I know I've sung these blues before,
I need to take this frustration
And use a bit of imagination that will help me inch back up again.
A setback is a setup for a comeback
And I'm ready to come back to a place where I can call myself Cathy.
I mean happy.
Happy to be in my own skin.
Heart not hurting for
*What hurts the most*
The things it wants but can't have
But it still hurts though,
Trying to put this selective vision away from what's missing
And onto what I might be missing in front of me.
Forgive me for dwelling on this not so compelling rant
But I think spelling it out to the world
Will help me get up from being down
Because when you're down
You only just seem to go deeper
Along the steep path
Losing sleep
As negative vibes creep their way into your pillow
With each weep.

Forget It

To the boys at the bar yesterday who I wish to forget:

Forget how I don't really enjoy bars anymore where weaving to meet your friend becomes a Nick Arcade challenge, but you do it anyway to meet the people you call friends.

Forget how seeing me made you feel so repulsed and wide eyed that you decided it was okay to "sneak" pictures of me with your phone and pass it around to your group of assholes to check out the beast on the other side of the tsunami of people.

Forget how you kept looking back and bursting into laughter causing the domino effect with your friends... over and over again.

Forget how all of this paralyzed me into not being able to stand... stand up for myself and call you out on your bullshit. Paralyzed not being able to explain without being embarrassed to my company why I wanted to leave so early.

Forget how I cried all the way home. Just floating on a river full of tears, and my legs just moving along with the current.

Forget how I'm supposed to brush this off and know I'm better than the picture you're painting of me. How I"m supposed to be strong.

Forget how I'm not supposed to hate this town.

Thanks for making this a night to remember. A shitty night to remember.

Electronics Bad Luck (Haiku)

Technological
Broken apparatuses
Tech not logical

Lights, Camera, Education

When I was little
I wanted to be in the spotlight.
With an audience eager to see my performance
Leaving with their time well invested in this.
Broadway Bound Hollywood Broad.
These days my stage is a classroom
There is no need for microphones
And the lights go up as the bell rings.
My audience,
Groups of children with eager eyes
(Most of the time)
Ready to see how silly I can get when i tell them
The color is not Perrple
It's purple
On Tuez-day, Tuesday
After conducting their "I'm fine thank you, and ju" orchestra.
That comes out like clockwork in unison.
But why I participate in teaching what a participle is
Is the moment when a student steps up and says,
"I AM ten years old."
After years of incorrect repetition
The cognition of the order of the words
Reaches the right condition
Putting the verb in the right place
Acing exams
And little by little they're speaking English.
To distinguish themselves in a broken economy
Where the monopoly of funds
Takes the fun out of the future
Making poverty a fixture
In the mixture of people and places
Facing that harsh world
All i can do is arm my students
With words and verbs
For them to be heard among the herd
And fly as birds as far as they can go.
I may not have a star on the walk of fame
But I put stars on papers
for students who aim
To come out on top of the game.
Time for the curtain call
Bow to furthering knowledge.

Bilingual (Haiku)

Yo hablo Spanglish

Porque English and Spanish

Son Very Awesome.

Sola

Semi enamorada
Abandonada
Soledad sola
Soledad acompañada
Acompañar soledad
Sol La Ti Do
Dormir Sola
Latido en singular
Sin Lugar
Sola
Dos silabas
Una persona
Sola.

{source}

http://www.facebook.com/YahoraUnPoemaOficial

Reciclaje

¿Por qué somos tan tontas?
Para tropezar sobre los mismos agujeros en el camino
sabiendo que nos va a lastimar
Pero no alcanzamos rechazar
La oportunidad de volver a ese mismo lugar.
Hay que tragar el orgullo
Ir con lo suyo
E ir a dejar la basura.

Family Untied

8 eight brothers and Sisters
4 brothers
20 something cousins
Cousins I can count on one hand
Older end on one side
Slide down to bottom of the other
Oh brother...
Daddy won't talk to this uncle
And uncle won't talk to me over what Daddy did
wait which family are we talking about now?
How did it end up this way.
Family is supposed to be everything
Now everything is messed up
Things up in the air
Unfair treatment
Judgement
It doesn't make sense
And of course we're all human
But man this is family
Family is supposed to everything
Now everything is messed up

Days of Our Lives

Last days to play
The way we want to...
Together
Before the memories wash up
On shores of tomorrow
Landing on the sand
Passing through the hourglass
Where we realize
Days of Our Lives isn't just a soap.

(Non) Surprise Ending

I don't want to take out this notebook
I don't want to bring out this pen
I don't want it to hit the paper
Because then it means that
These feeling are palpable
That this sadness is real
That I can't hang onto the hope
That this is reasonable
And things can go back to the way they were.
But these weeks of silence
Have blurred together
Tethering my nerves
Taking over all my swerving swirling thoughts.
I don't want to write these words
Because it hurts
Because I have too many poems like this
And I wish I didn't have a laundry list
Of ghost stories to haunt me
Taunting ideas
Watching flaunting couples pass by
And as I get older
It gets harder to start
And even harder to fall apart at the seams
When things seemed to be fine
But I'm just a fool
For thinking I could have a happy ending
When life has been sending the message
That it's table for one
For quite some time now
I don't know how to protect myself
From the wealth of emotions that come from my soul
Dumbing down
Breaking down
Drowning in fond memories
And what could have been
I could have been happy
Instead of scribbling rhyming syllables
On paper dribbled with tears
Full of fear
That this movie has been on repeat
But I guess in my head
I like to play pretend
And believe I don't know the end of the story.

Repeated Course

Being honest with myself
Feeling broken and broke
Just the butt of another joke
Taking it old school to new school
Because you fool
You didn't pass the 50 billion times you took the test
Putting to rest naiveness
R.I.P trust
And this busted heart
Start again
You know the drill...

Despedida Alegre

La vida da muchas vueltas
Y aveces te encuentras
Asombrado por la suerte
De encontrar a gente
Que crean un ambiente
Tan agradable
Que son tan amables
Que hacen de esto una experiencia incomparable.
El corazón es un álbum de fotos
Y una libreta de notas
Devota a lograr la felicidad.
Sacar de la oscuridad
Sonrisas escondidas.
Entonces esto no es una despedida
Para toda la vida.
Porque siempre lo tendré apuntado
En mi corazón.

Things I'm not supposed to tell you

Turn the Beat Around- NaPoMo- 30 of 30

Today I need to write a happy poem
Enough of the crappy
Sappy stuff
Stuck in a rut
Ruin the routine
Let's smile today
Be brave
And pave the yellow brick road
Up the mountain you're climbing
Find the silver lining of the story
In a starry sky
Life is wonderful
Believe it

Spurts NaPoMo 29 of 30

My poetry is very sporatic
Coming in stages
Filling the pages of my notebook
in what seems like ages
Since the last time I wrote something.
Finally putting in the perspiration
To work out with my inspiration
Making the creation
A (finely chisled) poem

Historia Repetida NaPoMo 28 of 30

No cambia la historia
Sólo cambia el nombre
De los hombres
Buscando mujeres fracasadas
Abandonadas por el amor
Aguantando dolor
De heridas no merecidas
Malentendidas
Con lágrimas en los ojos
De los pocos momentos
De intentos de felicidad logrados
Esperanzas matados
Con cada cicatriz

No cambia la historia
Sólo cambia el nombre
Abre los ojos a la realidad

Pictures-NaPoMo 27 of 30

A life lived through pictures

How stories are shared

Capture the essence of the moment

For people not even there

Memories were made

And I wasn't there. 

And it tears up me inside

That in people's minds

When they remember that time

I'm not a part of it

Consequences unforeseen

At the start of it all

Just let me look at the pictures 

Feeling oh so small

I'm A Teacher NaPoMo 26 of 30

Sharpened pencils
Eager minds
Opened notebooks
Curious Eyes
Children learning
Class  in session
A More fulfilling profession?
Out of the question

Realization- NaPoMo 25 of 30

Once we have the admission
Of the submission of the people
We will be in a better position
For change.
To rearrange
This strange predicament
We are in.

Side Salad- NaPoMo- 24 of 30

You´d rather have me
For lunch
Then throw away the napkin
Than to make something happen
I'm not okay with that
So hat's off to you
For being so honest
But honestly,
Did you think that I'd accept
What you offer
Even though often now
I wonder what I'm worth
That's the worst thing
You could have done to me

Pep Talk- NaPoMo 23 of 30

"I believe the children are our future
Teach them well and let them lead the way
Show them all the beauty they possess inside..."
I don't know if you've heard this song yet
But it's Whitney Houston
And we like her, right?
How are you doin' little me?
I know I'm taking you away
From your time to play
But what I have to say
It'll just take a minute
You see what's in it for you
Is the stuff I wish I knew
Back in the day
Back to the days
Of jump rope and four square
Wearing my hair like a mess
Caring less
Because Mommy said it's okay.
And I know you'll find your way
In the world
'Cause you're a wonderful girl
Who loves to twirl
With her head full of curls
But I just want you to head
More in the right direction.
Perfection isn't perfect
So realize it's not really worth it
To fight with jerks
Who only want to hurt you
You'll need to learn to dust off the dirt faster
As you'll find the world is so much more fun
When you're smiling
Keep singing
And Swinging
'Cause your laughter is the thing
That will keep you from going crazy
After bad days.
You're always going to look for your spotlight
But sometimes it's not the right time
But I'm really sure you'll find it
A lot brighter than you thought
Circle Circle Dot Dot Now you've got the cootie shot!
Oh my that was silly of me
But that's okay
You're not the delicate Lilly you think you are.
You have to protect your heart
 But that doesn't mean
I have to be closed,
I'm just trying to prevent a few blows
And scars
Once upon a time
Really does become A long long time ago (A last night)
Right under your nose
So know to keep away from the tattle tales
Live the fairy tales
It's better to be a 2nd grade chatter box
Than a 2nd hand dreamer
You know you want to teach
And that want
Will help you reach
Places you don't even know about yet
Get away from the Sega Genesis for a bit
Go give Mommy and Daddy a kiss
For me
From us
Good luck
L8er Gater

Unwed NaPoMo 22 of 30

Always the bridesmaid
Never the bride
Or even a chance to stride
In that direction
Missing the affection the comes with such vows
Flooded with questions
Of How
And Why
Increasing sighs
No cure in sight
Or even something
That might suffice
Just too nice
Or too something else
Good for only a fling
He says "You turn me on
But not for a relationship"
Sinking the ship of hope
To be able to cope
Living in a world
With a dope
Who would even say that

A Note on Street Harassment- NaPoMo 21 of 30

The day when walking
Allowed for stalking
And more unwanted passes
Checking out asses
And assets
Placing bets on who gets the prize
Haunting and daunting
Stares and drool
It's not cool bro
Definitely not cool
So do we have to school you
On what to do
In the street?
It's not the place to meet
Or mate.
You actually irritate
Not activate
Your chances to procreate.
Not trying to hate on your game
But it's a shame
You gotta be that lame
To aim like you're hitting a target
In many public places
Including Walmart.
So be smart,
'Cause right now
It's just not cute.

He Forgot- Haiku- NaPoMo- 20 of 30

Happy Birthday Babe
Is that too much to ask for?
Would have made my day.

Innowince- NaPoMo- 19 of 30

Trying to act as innocent
As a little girl
Who's just done her first communion
But those late night reunions
Creep back into the light
Foresight of this conclusion
Fair maiden
A forced illusion
What a girl can lose
Because she didn't refuse
The abuse of her heart
Torn apart morals
Left a bit confused
An unsure identity
Writing about the blues

Dead End- NaPoMo 18 of 30

From day one
There were bad vibes
But the right thing was to try
Give the benefit of the doubt
Figure out
What this was about.
Why we didn't click
When you had your clique of chicks
To stick by your side
Trying to abide by the correct
By the correct social code
And taking the higher road.
But it wasn't one act alone
That lead to the admission
Of intuition being correct
Respect people
Respect boundaries
This isn't high school anymore

Not Forced-NaPoMo- 17 of 30

It doesn't happen that way
There isn't a sublime time
To find a rhyme
Don't commit the crime
Of writing something that's not worth a dime
Let the moment find you
Words fly into your brain
To soothe the pain
Of the earthquake of emotions
And notions of curiosity
A Monstrosity of thoughts
Being created
Not outdated
Inflated pieces of pretentiousness
Overrated by the people
Pour out your heart and soul
You'll appreciate it later.

Dos Seres Tentados NaPoMo 16 of 30

La noche que nunca llegó
Ella tampoco estaba muy convencida
Por tomar las medidas que afectaban su vida
Y se quedaron los dos con las ganas
Andando en caminos contrarías
Dejando sólo huellas de conversaciones de medianoche
Mientras el enfoque cambiaba.
Él continuaba su historia de amor
Ella a su esquina pensando en su valor
No muy enredados
Y un poco confundidos
El ruido de las ruedas
Los pensamientos movidos
Lo que hemos entendido
Ella busca una relacion sincera y profunda
Él una noche de placer
No parece tener mucho sentido
Volver a la situación en que (no) se hayan metido.
Él tiene morbo y ninguna otra intención
Ella se queda mirando el telefono
¡Maldita tentación!

False Charm- NaPoMo 15 of 30

We could have really started something
But what you really wanted
Was my friend
Just an illusion
To cause confusion
You were the one that lost out in the end

730 a.m. NaPoMo 14 of 30

The alarm clock goes off
After yet another night of too little sleep
From deep thoughts to late night chats
Last minute deadlines
And all of that
Hitting the snooze button is her only option
Because the adoption of the habit
Of jumping out of bed like a rabbit
Is not in her DNA damnit.

Daily Occurrences- NaPoMo 13 of 30

The "you're beautiful" in my head
And the "you're beautiful from my friends
Doesn't transcend to the nameless passersby
Who try to break me down
With each muffled laugh
If I hit every person who's made fun of me
When my fist tries to insist
That justice persists
But I resist
Stipulation that I am not their equal
And a sequel to hurtful behavior
Is not the savior of this case
I don't know what it is about my face
That is such a disgrace to this society
And  I guess I'll never know
As I walk away
With an eruption of giggle behind me
With so many stares and glares
Life is really an unfair affair.

First Date- NaPoMo 12 of 30

I'm not sure if I should speak
But this awkward silence is so loud
It's making my ears ring
Do you go first?
Do I?
Is it the fact that we're shy
That makes my insides feel so weird
Because it's all that I feared
Looking stupid
Like the thought of cupid actually being real
Making this tangible sentiment I feel
Like a cage
As I try to keep my composure
Avoiding overexposure
At this impressionable stage
Maybe your joke wasn't funny
Maybe we weren't as compatible
As we thought we were
Causing this voiceless stir
Making a blur of the moment
Hold it.
I really hope I'm not the only one
Coming undone
By the lack of words
In this conversation
I can't explain my irritation
Or understand my demand
For sound around this situation
Umm...
Yeah...
Yep...
And nervous laughs come after
This lack of banter has paved the way
To only having one more thing to say...
"Let's not do this again, k?"

College Graduate- NaPoMo 11 of 30

She was just a girl
A girl with mission
To be an educated person
For it not to be fiction

Expectations to be surpassed
This girl did soar
To all she could have dreamed
Giving her so much more

To bring pride to the family
Is such a fine reward
Paying with hard work
Is all she could afford

Her journey does not end
More goals to me met
The possibilities are endless
Once her mind is set.

My Other Half- Haiku 10 of 30

He has got no name
Yet he dictates my feelings
Invisible strife

Mr. $45/hr - NaPoMo 9 of 30

He was a sad

And lonely man

Hiding his insufficiencies

As best as he can

Missing opportunities

Of tangible relations

All for the satisfaction

Of temporary sensations

Misunderstandings

Inexplicable craze

Of this man turned to monster

Set in his ways

A quick goodbye

The friendship did end

He caused the damage

Far too great to mend

Natural Medicine- Haiku- NaPoMo 8 of 30

Poem writing helps
Emotional waterfall
Healing all the wounds

NonDisney- Haiku- NaPoMo 7 of 30

You could have been him

Happily ever after

I'm not the princess

Water- NaPoMo 6 of 30

She's parched
Thirsty
But the beast is standing in the way
The girl is drowning in punches
From the tsunami of complications
The parade has been rained on
With waves of obstacles.
She shed tears at the iced heart of the beast
Getting watered down smiles
People using TLC against her
Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls
Please stick to the rivers
And the lakes that you're used to
To
To
To a different ocean that is much to salty
And would flood her world with failed dreams
The beast could have prevented it all
By helping her get a glass of water
A drink of H20
Helping to Overcome

Semi-Parallel Lines- NaPoMo 5 of 30

It's hard to wrap your head around
The fact that someone on the other side of the world
Can take the thoughts from your head
And put them into words
Into the world
Without even talking to you about it
Like math
Parallel lines
On the same path
Yet never meeting
And one day
You see something and think
Someone knows how I feel
It's kinda nice.

House Warming- Haiku- NaPoMo 4 of 30

Elevator Kiss
That is what started it all
Must get over it

Truly Fake- Haiku- NaPoMo- 3 of 30

Fact and/or fiction
Real life events possibly
Imagination

Just After Midnight- NaPoMo- 2 of 30

The walk of shame
It was the walk of shame
Because I was ashamed
Ashamed that I yet again didn't listen to the voice inside my head
Pointing out the very visible cliff I was about to fall off of
I guess that's because that's what I'm good at...
Picking up the pieces
Shattered hopes that were bloated
And sugar coated with to fit the fantasy.
See the pattern?
Turning me into some old shrew
Screwing up a chance at contentment
Left only with resentment, lack of fulfillment
And a lonely soul
A hole in my being
Seeking to be whole
Cue the song that makes me feel better or worse
As I search for my purse
And get on my way
Out of the way
It's a long ride home

[source]

My Job- Haiku- NaPoMo 1 of 30

English makes money
Learn it to help you succeed
I'm here to help you.

Damned Decisions (PiP Poetry in Progress)

She sat there in front of art and architecture.
Places where royalty have roamed.
Reaching places may have only dreamed of.
But the dream isn't fulfilled.
There are still some pieces missing
The amusing part of the mystery
Is that which pieces need placing are unknown.
So play with endless ideas/scenarios
To make this amazing work in progress feel complete,
Instead of at times obsolete.
Hit the concrete running
Instead of running into a wall
Or running away
But where to stay is part of the problem
Comfortable with one idea
But constrained by its limits.
Endless things to check off a list
Wishing physics could fix the issue
It's not you it's me
Lonley, among other things
Until further notice.

Confessions of a Fat Girl

It's kind of difficult for me to come out with this.
Actually, I'm really embarrassed.
You see the thing is...
I'm in an abusive relationship.
There.
I said it.
This has been going on for quite some time
And just when I thought I'd escaped,
The fight began again.
The pounds to my body don't come with bruises to my skin,
But only to my pride.
When my eyes in a mirror
Gaze upon the size of this wide load
Woes and unknowing foes
Explode from uncertainty
Insecurity, Animosity, Absurdity
That comes from this mess
Stress from the cycle
And I don't mean your washer and dryer.
I mean Dryers and Ho-Hos
And oh nos that come from the end of a bag of Doritos
To go with burritos
And washed down with juice
Covered in all the loose clothing
To cover all the loathing of the image
And just a smidge more effort
Wouldn't hurt the cause
But temptation and socialization
Excuses and denial
All while the battle
Over feeling like cattle
Turns into a civil war
Which I can't ignore anymore.
Because I want more,
More self worth,
Less hurt,
Less jerks,
More time on Earth.
Perk up.
Today is day 1.

[Source]

A Religious Observation

How can we be building churches,
But closing hospitals?
How can you plate anything in gold,
While your people are out in the cold
Hungry and dirty
Pleading for pity?
As spectators ignore them
And go to their sanctuary
And step onto their holy pedestal
In a building that makes you feel like you're in the clouds.
Something they refuse to say aloud
Is that not all are allowed
So they stick to their crowd
And are proud of their faith
But they cannot face
The place that is plagued with poverty, violence, racism, and the like.
In spite of following one creator
The people have made it into a separator
Garnish your house of God
As the world is spinning out of control on the outside.

Covered Girl (PiP- Poem in Progress)

Sitting in front of the mirror
Natural
Adding layers
Covering simplicity with blush and hairspray
Preparing for the outside world
But CoverGirl isn't the right foundation for life
A powdered face isn't the shield
Line your lips with words that are true
Take the shadow off your eyes and see the small wonders of the world
Let them love you for you
Not a skewed view
From people who have no clue
Who you are
And your potential
Is exponential
And essential to something better.
First conquer you,
Next, the world.

[Source]