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Poem originally posted on my main blog: here

Saturated Thoughts

How dare you be so selfish
And take over my mind
As if you were hogging the blanket in the middle of the night
Totally unaware,
Asleep to the coldness I feel in my bones.
I'm no longer in control.
I'm shivering at wind blasting thoughts
That are coming at me from every angle
Trying to find the angle of this situation,
Infatuation,
Saturation of content not leaving me content to think
Or even blink without being suffocated by doubt
Unable to get out of my head the options we hold
The adoption of this activity has made me scold myself
Because I need help to swim before I drown
I'm drowning,
And you're dreaming
Feel free to throw me a lifesaver.
I hope you like that blanket
It's made from the best and worst of me.

One Picture- My Daughter's Wedding

Another one From the Writer's Block - "If you could take one picture, what would it be? what is in it? Who is in it? What does it mean to you?"

One picture
Una foto
One picture
One representation of a moment in time
Captured
Trapped in digital pixels
Held prisoner by nostalgia and reminiscence
Essentially life on paper
If I could only take one picture
It would show the texture of my existence
A beautiful girl dressed in white
Her smile up to her ears
Because this is the happiest moment of her life
Her mother with proud eyes
And an attitude
That her fortitude
Has been compensated
And emulated by this joyous occasion
My whole universe
In a frame, a family
F- Fate, Freedom, Fabulousness
A- Absolutely Amazing Amor
M- My marvelous Masterpiece
I, I can't believe I'm so...
L-Lucky
Y- Why, I wish I could drink this happiness forever
Generations together
My mother, her mother
Tias, Nieces
Daddies, brothers and sons
All in one room
Sharing one moment
As the lens captures
Mi familia.

[source]

Love, From Hate's Point of View

Another one from the Writer's Block :)

I just don't understand
How this works really
This complex feeling
That makes people go nuts.
Making such a fuss
And frankly, I've had enough.
It's so much easier to be me.
I don't have the urge
To buy candy or flowers.
I don't spend hours
Pained if I'm unrequited.
And I don't get excited
at the thought of being united.
People think I'm the bad guy.
But Love's not always a picnic either.
It knows how to destroy what's been built
It can watch a rose wilt
Without hope of resurrection.
Really we're not that different.
Actually I'm pretty sure,
I was Love in a past life.
I guess it just depends on what is your strife.

Poet Envy

Green like money
Being food sick
Unable to pick the right words
For a better fit
Or maybe it's less about math
And more about meaning
Provoking feelings
From people who are dealing
With thunderstorms and earthquakes.
Engaging in debates
And questioning what lies in their fate.
Time after time
I see people with the baddest rhymes and incredible flow,
That I don't know
If should even show my meager work to anyone.
A simple well done,
Although coming from the right place
And so kind,
Doesn't allow me to find my inner superstar.
Far and wide people will want to read my works
Including all the quirks
Gawking at my creation
The next poetry sensation.
Or at least allow my imagination to believe it.
Just spit it out
"I want to be among the best."

A Conversation Between Life and Death

This poem came from a writing prompt one of my poet facebook friends had from a series called Writer's Block. As always, a work in progress.... So here's number 21.

A Conversation Between Life and Death

You get to have all the fun.

I believe you are mistaken.

How could I be, when you are surrounded by energy, joy and laughter?

You are the birth of all things that have graced this Earth with greatness.

It’s not all that great, when sometimes it’s too late to change the fate, and situations become irate.

I hold the weight of sorrow and tears on my shoulders.

These boulders of misery and mayhem.

Don’t judge a book by its cover.

Even with my attractive façade I deal with odd circumstances.

You have the advances for peace and ability to be free.

Who me?

Most people fear me.

I’m the last on their list-

-But midst all of the nonsense, I often go to waste.

You know, I’ve always been jealous of you, maybe even crazed,

But come on let’s go, and make the best of our day. 

Cravings

Gluttony consumes you
As you stare with your eyes glazed
And your mouth salivating.
Putting on your hiking boots
To devour vanilla caramel mountains
Laying with cream colored satin
Enjoying the sweet coconut scent
The sand passes through the hour glass
Giving your gastronomy an expiration date.
You glare at the coffee cake with intensity
Wanting to consume all you can.
The stopwatch hits go for your diet
You won't cheat
So eat
Eat it all now.

Penny for Your Thoughts

Stupid, stupid girl
Allows the space in her head
Where her brain is supposed to be
To be filled with nonsense feelings of superficial comfort
Comfortable
Curious
Crazy
Dangerous
It's dangerous  to walk around dark pathways with your eyes closed
You never know what's going to come out of the shadows
Naïve
Obscene
Unseen
On the silver screen
Eyes are glued
To misconstrued tales of amorous encounters
That are not going to happen in my lifetime
Feeling so empty as the credits roll
And the characters have their dreams come true
It's like I'm missing the adapter or something
To the ultimate connection
So what in the world is wrong with me?
Swirling skewed ideas
Of obtaining or sustaining relationships
Without refraining from giving it your all
There really should be training for this stuff
Sifting through the fluff
Looking at the hand that's been dealt
Deciding which bluff to call.
And just remember you're not playing strip poker
Even though with each unsuccessful game you lose a piece of yourself
No tip for the dealer
But if anyone else were to give their two cents
They would say, "What are you thinking?
You're beautiful
So dismiss those who need the submission
Or download of your grace.
Face your fear of being near spinsterhood
The most ridiculous notion in the neighborhood.
Watch for those who can't appreciate your light.
Fight to be happy.
But make it happen in the right state of mind.
You are one of a kind.
So don't roam the streets blind
To the fact that you're pretty amazing.
No question, comma, or quotation,
Just period.

La Challenge

I have a problema
When I'm trying to bust a rhyme
No es la misma thing
To get a flow going en Español
I lose control
Going in circles looking like a caracol
Palabras just don't come out the same
Trying to be profunda
Ending up just driving myself insane
Falta de vocabulary is my derrota
Missing the frases that are the bases of this stream of pensamientos.
As much as I want to creer
That I am a wonderful mezcla
Enjoying the best of two mundos
I realize my dose of idiomas is a bit de un lado
My Spanglish is lavish
Excepto when the lapiz hit the papel
Perhaps algún día
I'll be able to live better in los dos worlds
For now I'll just disfrutar life
With my PB & J and horchata.

Message In A Bottle

Have you ever had feelings that you were ashamed of?

Thoughts going through your head that if you gave them a voice

You would immediately regret it as soon as the treacherous words left your mouth.

Syllables that come together in the form of anger, bitterness, and resentment.

Meant for an unknown receptor

The original agressor

Something you obsess over

Over and over

Not getting over it

Lost in a dark forest where the roots of maddening trees entangle you

So you can´t move

Can't breathe

Can't think  

Creatures of uncertainty

Certainly overstaying their welcome
In a mind that’s burning with fury

A fire that is drowning in doubt and self conciousness

Constrained by the norms that society has defined for certain relationships.

That ship may have already sailed.

Have you ever had feelings you were ashamed of?

Mine are in a message in a bottle.

Sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

The Awakening

What happens to our soul when a shadow is cast over our life?
Removing the light that can brighten up a day at the sight of hope.
How does one cope with the darkness and growing strife?
Not long ago, I wouldn't have had an answer
Just putting a show
Being a dancer on stage.
Containing the rage that in reality kept  me in a cage.
Craving normality,
Whatever that is.
Going through each formality, but failing to remedy my ailing spirit.
It's not something simple that you can fix.
Not to say, I have all the tricks,
But the moment I decided to switch my plight for a fight to make things right
All of those nights became a little more clear.
Steering myself back on to the road
After a series of crashes
Getting up from the ashes of being burned from all sides
Enjoying the ride
Because I woke up from my nightmare
Into a dream
I'm taking control
Climbing out of the hole in my heart
A new start.
I'm alive
I'm awake.
I'm on my way.

Over It

Seasons change

Coming and going

As we continue to flip the calendar pages

Stages of life

Ages or periods

Of glee or sorrow

Tomorrow we don't know what awaits us

But I'm hoping for the sun 

To push away those clouds

That have overstayed their welcome for a while now

I need some breathing room

Because this bad luck has taken me in like quicksand

And in the grand scheme of things

This just isn't working for me.

Anxious

Tomorrow

Next Week

Next Month

Next Year

Future

Darkness

Doubt

Despair

Unable to prepare for what comes next

Nervous walking through the hallways of life blindfolded

Blind to the fact that there are other things out there

Other than this. 

Lists of endeavors

That are severed by hands that are not interested in your plans

There is no GOL!!!

Because from here there is no motion forward

The momentum achieved 

The need for speed

Has slammed on the brakes

By a collision of opinions

And the wreckage is sent to the junkyard

Along with any opportunity for peace of mind

Wait to open the closed door

Patience will pick the lock.

Fireworks in Africa

When I think of you

I hear high pitched noises

And explosions of fireworks

Bright lights giving me a twinkle in my eye,

A blanket of warmth in the cool breeze,

Security in the chaos.

As long as I'd like to prance in a field of tulips
Where our two lips can find each other
The brown dirt that separates us
Is growing longer with every sunrise
And when the night falls
My hopes of a real romance
Dwindle as the curse sets in
I am strangled with the telephone cord
Losing my breath
Growing faint
Not knowing if I have enough strength to continue to miss you
My world is growing hazy
And I begin to dream
I'm floating across the ocean
To a faraway place.

Transportation

The metro

An underground spectacle

Miles of track carrying millions of people

To destinations unknown to the rest of the world

Intertwined paths of those who wouldn't cross otherwise

Two or more souls sharing a moment

Even if it's finding your balance 

Or fighting to get in

Kind of like life

You wrestle for a spot 

Always going somewhere

Being careful not to stumble

Hold onto the rail

Your stop is next

Haiku- Fundamental

Striking is a right.

Education is as well.

Got any questions?

Haiku- Sun Gods

Now there is sunshine

My spirit's rising again 

Warm thoughts bring big smiles

Haiku- Beats

Headphones drowning sounds

Eighth notes skipping in my head

Today's a good day

Haiku- One Year

Anniversary

What happened to me this year?

Memories not Life.

Haiku- Time for School

My students talking

Saturated with ideas

The classroom's open 

On The Day I was Born

APRIL IS NATIONAL POETRY WRITING MONTH 

Cathy's Blues

No video for this one (for now anyway). Enjoy :)

I’m not rejecting

Just accepting that your words are no longer affecting me anymore

So when you keep interjecting those clichéd phrases,

Thoughts are collecting in my headed

Running around in the mazes

Intersecting with ideas of doubt, despair, and shame.

I know that is not the aim of your action.

A fraction of me tells myself the same.

As I claim to be okay,

I’m not sure if it’s just to say “the right thing”

Or I’m truly trying to convince myself it’s true.

The truth,

I’m blue

Nothing to do with you,

I just can’t deal with the cards in front of me.

They raised the big blind a little too much this time

Forcing me to rhyme

Soothing me into something sublime

I sit with headphones on full blast to drown out the sound my cries.

This is a person I don’t recognize.

Even though I can legitimize this problem

I need to rise and solve them.

I know you’re confused

‘Cause it seems I refuse your help.

I keep up great pretenses

While maintaining large fences of barbed wire around my mouth

But I tend to spout things out that are tender.

I can’t surrender to this

I have to defend my right to a life

My right to be me.

I’m gonna break free.

New Poems for 2012- Hungry & Misunderstood

I am hungry

(And I’m sure when you look at me you’ll say, I bet you are)

But there isn’t enough strawberry ice cream or ho-hos in the world to fill the void that makes me hungry.

Hungry for love

Like the late Etta James (may her musical soul rest in peace) said, I want a Sunday kind of love.

Sun to brighten the dark path my heart has walked on for much too long.

Days without even a nibble of affection

Starving for attention

In need of a Grade A inspection

Instead of looking at just a reflection of the connection in need of correction or maybe just the deception of my own mind that a little elbow grease will make it work.

I drool to be cool like the girl on his arm, his prize, to my surprise a genuine relationship without the thought of the demise.

Thoughts that my jaw is tired of chewing on and spitting out.

Tired of writing poems and songs about a lonely girl and a love gone wrong,

Grumbling to be satisfied

Full on butterflies.

Mastering the art of compromise

Gazing with the eyes,

Measuring the power of something you cannot give a size.

I know I am not the only one with this starvation,

Creation of this sensation has been brought on by a society of falsification with no explanation and increasing interrogation about one’s own situation.

But alas I want to be danced and romanced, and lost in a trance (enough to lose a bus pass)

Given the chance at last to bask in the basket of goodies life has ahead.

Misunderstanding

I am not demanding the handing of the spoon to my mouth,

But my life has gone south

Since the landing of that plane

That was in the air for a fair amount of time

I didn’t commit a crime.

I know I crossed a line,

But I’m going out of my mind

As I try and try to catch a break

Making more and more mistakes than I’d like to take credit for.

I know sorry isn’t enough

Because the world is rough

And I just gotta toughen up

And get the hang of this stuff.

I am a privileged child I know

But I’d like to show I really am a humble person

As I stumble on the broken ground.

I’m trying to stick around,

But the sound of the pounding of my heart falling apart

Keeps me bound to this tragedy.

I’d deceive myself if I believed in the harmonious scene I’ve conceived in my head instead of knowing how to deal with the problem.

I know it’s all a part of growing.

Growing up.

I thought I was ready.

Maybe not.