30 for 30 9 of 30 NaPoMo2014

Thirty is too much
I say challenge accepted
Now wait for my muse...

This House Was Built on Words- 2 of 30 NaPoMo2014

This house was built on words
This is a house not a home
For the girl who is listening to music with the volume all the way
     So she doesn't hear her parents arguing.
For the boy who hides
     As soon as he hears the liquor cabinet creak open .
For the wife who makes dinner for two in vain
     Because her husband will have a late night at work for the third time this week.
For the baby who is wailing
     Because their diaper hasn't been changed in God knows how long.
This house was built on words
Angry, Empty, Envy, Enemy
This is a house not a home.
Cheater, drunk, bastard, bitch
Which leaves little room for love and laughter
After all the lies and cries
This house was built on words .
Scream, scold, scowl
Basement of HATE
Attic of LIES
Bedrooms of ABUSE
Living rooms with no LIFE
This is a house not a home.
For the girl who doesn't want a serious relationship
     Because she doesn't want to end up like her parents.
For the boy who has a court date pending
     For his third DUI
For the wife who knows the rumors
     But doesn't want to be alone.
For the baby who sees their social worker
     More often than she should have to.
This house was built on words.
Time to find a new dictionary.

Spurts NaPoMo 29 of 30

My poetry is very sporatic
Coming in stages
Filling the pages of my notebook
in what seems like ages
Since the last time I wrote something.
Finally putting in the perspiration
To work out with my inspiration
Making the creation
A (finely chisled) poem

Water- NaPoMo 6 of 30

She's parched
Thirsty
But the beast is standing in the way
The girl is drowning in punches
From the tsunami of complications
The parade has been rained on
With waves of obstacles.
She shed tears at the iced heart of the beast
Getting watered down smiles
People using TLC against her
Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls
Please stick to the rivers
And the lakes that you're used to
To
To
To a different ocean that is much to salty
And would flood her world with failed dreams
The beast could have prevented it all
By helping her get a glass of water
A drink of H20
Helping to Overcome

Labels

Poem originally posted on my main blog: here

One Picture- My Daughter's Wedding

Another one From the Writer's Block - "If you could take one picture, what would it be? what is in it? Who is in it? What does it mean to you?"

One picture
Una foto
One picture
One representation of a moment in time
Captured
Trapped in digital pixels
Held prisoner by nostalgia and reminiscence
Essentially life on paper
If I could only take one picture
It would show the texture of my existence
A beautiful girl dressed in white
Her smile up to her ears
Because this is the happiest moment of her life
Her mother with proud eyes
And an attitude
That her fortitude
Has been compensated
And emulated by this joyous occasion
My whole universe
In a frame, a family
F- Fate, Freedom, Fabulousness
A- Absolutely Amazing Amor
M- My marvelous Masterpiece
I, I can't believe I'm so...
L-Lucky
Y- Why, I wish I could drink this happiness forever
Generations together
My mother, her mother
Tias, Nieces
Daddies, brothers and sons
All in one room
Sharing one moment
As the lens captures
Mi familia.

[source]

Poet Envy

Green like money
Being food sick
Unable to pick the right words
For a better fit
Or maybe it's less about math
And more about meaning
Provoking feelings
From people who are dealing
With thunderstorms and earthquakes.
Engaging in debates
And questioning what lies in their fate.
Time after time
I see people with the baddest rhymes and incredible flow,
That I don't know
If should even show my meager work to anyone.
A simple well done,
Although coming from the right place
And so kind,
Doesn't allow me to find my inner superstar.
Far and wide people will want to read my works
Including all the quirks
Gawking at my creation
The next poetry sensation.
Or at least allow my imagination to believe it.
Just spit it out
"I want to be among the best."

Penny for Your Thoughts

Stupid, stupid girl
Allows the space in her head
Where her brain is supposed to be
To be filled with nonsense feelings of superficial comfort
Comfortable
Curious
Crazy
Dangerous
It's dangerous  to walk around dark pathways with your eyes closed
You never know what's going to come out of the shadows
Naïve
Obscene
Unseen
On the silver screen
Eyes are glued
To misconstrued tales of amorous encounters
That are not going to happen in my lifetime
Feeling so empty as the credits roll
And the characters have their dreams come true
It's like I'm missing the adapter or something
To the ultimate connection
So what in the world is wrong with me?
Swirling skewed ideas
Of obtaining or sustaining relationships
Without refraining from giving it your all
There really should be training for this stuff
Sifting through the fluff
Looking at the hand that's been dealt
Deciding which bluff to call.
And just remember you're not playing strip poker
Even though with each unsuccessful game you lose a piece of yourself
No tip for the dealer
But if anyone else were to give their two cents
They would say, "What are you thinking?
You're beautiful
So dismiss those who need the submission
Or download of your grace.
Face your fear of being near spinsterhood
The most ridiculous notion in the neighborhood.
Watch for those who can't appreciate your light.
Fight to be happy.
But make it happen in the right state of mind.
You are one of a kind.
So don't roam the streets blind
To the fact that you're pretty amazing.
No question, comma, or quotation,
Just period.

La Challenge

I have a problema
When I'm trying to bust a rhyme
No es la misma thing
To get a flow going en Español
I lose control
Going in circles looking like a caracol
Palabras just don't come out the same
Trying to be profunda
Ending up just driving myself insane
Falta de vocabulary is my derrota
Missing the frases that are the bases of this stream of pensamientos.
As much as I want to creer
That I am a wonderful mezcla
Enjoying the best of two mundos
I realize my dose of idiomas is a bit de un lado
My Spanglish is lavish
Excepto when the lapiz hit the papel
Perhaps algún día
I'll be able to live better in los dos worlds
For now I'll just disfrutar life
With my PB & J and horchata.

Message In A Bottle

Have you ever had feelings that you were ashamed of?

Thoughts going through your head that if you gave them a voice

You would immediately regret it as soon as the treacherous words left your mouth.

Syllables that come together in the form of anger, bitterness, and resentment.

Meant for an unknown receptor

The original agressor

Something you obsess over

Over and over

Not getting over it

Lost in a dark forest where the roots of maddening trees entangle you

So you can´t move

Can't breathe

Can't think  

Creatures of uncertainty

Certainly overstaying their welcome
In a mind that’s burning with fury

A fire that is drowning in doubt and self conciousness

Constrained by the norms that society has defined for certain relationships.

That ship may have already sailed.

Have you ever had feelings you were ashamed of?

Mine are in a message in a bottle.

Sinking to the bottom of the ocean.

The Awakening

What happens to our soul when a shadow is cast over our life?
Removing the light that can brighten up a day at the sight of hope.
How does one cope with the darkness and growing strife?
Not long ago, I wouldn't have had an answer
Just putting a show
Being a dancer on stage.
Containing the rage that in reality kept  me in a cage.
Craving normality,
Whatever that is.
Going through each formality, but failing to remedy my ailing spirit.
It's not something simple that you can fix.
Not to say, I have all the tricks,
But the moment I decided to switch my plight for a fight to make things right
All of those nights became a little more clear.
Steering myself back on to the road
After a series of crashes
Getting up from the ashes of being burned from all sides
Enjoying the ride
Because I woke up from my nightmare
Into a dream
I'm taking control
Climbing out of the hole in my heart
A new start.
I'm alive
I'm awake.
I'm on my way.

Over It

Seasons change

Coming and going

As we continue to flip the calendar pages

Stages of life

Ages or periods

Of glee or sorrow

Tomorrow we don't know what awaits us

But I'm hoping for the sun 

To push away those clouds

That have overstayed their welcome for a while now

I need some breathing room

Because this bad luck has taken me in like quicksand

And in the grand scheme of things

This just isn't working for me.

Anxious

Tomorrow

Next Week

Next Month

Next Year

Future

Darkness

Doubt

Despair

Unable to prepare for what comes next

Nervous walking through the hallways of life blindfolded

Blind to the fact that there are other things out there

Other than this. 

Lists of endeavors

That are severed by hands that are not interested in your plans

There is no GOL!!!

Because from here there is no motion forward

The momentum achieved 

The need for speed

Has slammed on the brakes

By a collision of opinions

And the wreckage is sent to the junkyard

Along with any opportunity for peace of mind

Wait to open the closed door

Patience will pick the lock.

Burned Cookies

 Damnit I was doing just fine without you

But there you go again creeping back into my thoughts like clockwork.

It’s like you set the kitchen timer to 7 years

Only to check in on what’s been baking every 2-3 months.

What you can’t see is that what could have been a beautiful creation has been burned.

It’s Crispy, Hard.

Hard like the journey we’ve embarked on for so long.

This was supposed to be the happily ever after,

And after so long all it does is pull on my heart strings

Stinging from what could have been

The almost.

But almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades,

A grenade that’s already blown any aspiration of my being truly loved into tiny pieces.

Peace is what I seek now,

Strength to move forward and leave this story behind.

Behind all of the pain, emptiness, and longing.

You don’t even know have a clue

But the monopoly over my feelings is ending,

You didn’t catch them all…or at least the one that mattered.

Enjoy your milk with no cookies, only the crumbles. 

Cathy With A C

I've had this written for a while since I wanted to add it to the about me section on my main blog, and I finally recorded the video today. So here it goes...

Let me take a moment to introduce myself.

My name is Cathy.

That is, Cathy with a C.

And I hope you can see my name is Cathy.

Not Catherine, Katie or Kathleen.

As beautiful as those names are,

They are not mine.

I am Cathy, with a C.

You see, I’m kind of a nerd.

Band geek for life.

Reading Questionable Content (THE COMIC) online,

Still wearing pig tails.

And busting a move or bursting into song at any given time.

Even in the shampoo aisle

(Tresseme for curls please).

ABCs & 1,2,3s

My life has been school from the day I went to three different kindergartens.

Thriving off of to-do lists, brand new pens, pencils, highlighters, and the ever important first day of school outfit.

Outcast? Sometimes.

Outspoken? Rarely.

Outstanding? Perhaps.

Outgoing? On a good day.

Out of money? More often than not.

The knot in my stomach.

From that moment when someone that looks at you for a moment too long for comfort.

Is there something wrong with me?

With me is the love and support of family and 1500 facebook friends

(don’t hate)

Eighty-eight, the year of my birth.

Born in Raised in the California sun.

A desert Rose almost 6 feet tall and who knows how wide, whose roots spread across the world

World traveler, Struggling window shopper,

Teacher for now, Student for always.

Always looking for the best in people with scars along my legs from the times I’ve been burned, and insect bites.

Bytes of memory that fill my computer with thoughts of a future author, and hopefully comedienne.

See, we’ve come to an end, or rather transition to the chapter.

C- for Cathy, that’s me. 

New Video

Hey all,

  So I was called out in this poetry group that I participate in, APOEM, and posted the video on my blog as well. Hope you enjoy it.

Hello,

Hi,

Hey Hey

Or in this case Hola.

These are SIMPLE greetings that make up the basis of a relationship

Destined to either prosper

Or be cursed into an abyss of awkwardness, resentment, and annoyance.

Illusions of harmony disguise the real demons, or brujas, who prey on innocence and hope with false impressions

An impression of cheaters, liars, loneliness, confusion, oppression, and anger.

My impression?

Not impressed.

But pressed for time to choose to continue this poisonous connection

Or flee to those who understand me the most.

Most days I try to wash away the unsettling emotions

And clear the vision for the second chance.

Seconds away from saying Hola!

Or maybe bonjour!