Burned Cookies

 Damnit I was doing just fine without you

But there you go again creeping back into my thoughts like clockwork.

It’s like you set the kitchen timer to 7 years

Only to check in on what’s been baking every 2-3 months.

What you can’t see is that what could have been a beautiful creation has been burned.

It’s Crispy, Hard.

Hard like the journey we’ve embarked on for so long.

This was supposed to be the happily ever after,

And after so long all it does is pull on my heart strings

Stinging from what could have been

The almost.

But almost only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades,

A grenade that’s already blown any aspiration of my being truly loved into tiny pieces.

Peace is what I seek now,

Strength to move forward and leave this story behind.

Behind all of the pain, emptiness, and longing.

You don’t even know have a clue

But the monopoly over my feelings is ending,

You didn’t catch them all…or at least the one that mattered.

Enjoy your milk with no cookies, only the crumbles. 

Shy?

Just started writing and this came out, perhaps to be recorded at a later date but for now, it is, what it is. 

When I tell people I’m shy

The first thing I see is a laugh

Or that look that has “you’re kidding me, right?” written all over it.

I mean, I see where they’re coming from.

Perhaps I am a bit confused.

A shy social butterfly?

I think that’s right on the button.

Just as I walk the line as a gringa-latina,

I can reside in a room  where I have a place in the corner,

And in the center, under the spotlight.

I mean, I am the girl who has sung the national anthem twice,

La Presidenta,

Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz,

And hopped on planes and trains to who knows where.

But there’s no place like home

Where I can be away from the world

With no eyes to judge my thoughts or actions.

Lights, Camera, Action,

And I transform into whoever I need to be.

Bee. A busy bee buzzing around

And still sweet like honey.

Honey, I still stand by what I say and I am one shy girl,

But, I’m not gonna lie.

 It’s complicated.