I’m not rejecting
Just accepting that your words are no longer affecting me anymore
So when you keep interjecting those clichéd phrases,
Thoughts are collecting in my headed
Running around in the mazes
Intersecting with ideas of doubt, despair, and shame.
I know that is not the aim of your action.
A fraction of me tells myself the same.
As I claim to be okay,
I’m not sure if it’s just to say “the right thing”
Or I’m truly trying to convince myself it’s true.
The truth,
I’m blue
Nothing to do with you,
I just can’t deal with the cards in front of me.
They raised the big blind a little too much this time
Forcing me to rhyme
Soothing me into something sublime
I sit with headphones on full blast to drown out the sound my cries.
This is a person I don’t recognize.
Even though I can legitimize this problem
I need to rise and solve them.
I know you’re confused
‘Cause it seems I refuse your help.
I keep up great pretenses
While maintaining large fences of barbed wire around my mouth
But I tend to spout things out that are tender.
I can’t surrender to this
I have to defend my right to a life
My right to be me.
I’m gonna break free.
